Is FOMO to blame for the sensationalisation of busy?

By now you have probably heard about FOMO (the fear of missing out) and how a driving force behind this is social media, smartphones and the culture of needing it have it now. I've been guilty of FOMO and without Facebook, I do miss out and I'm learning to accept that "fear".  I hear through second hand messages about engagements, pregnancies, even deaths, and I have missed out on social events like surprise birthdays because invites have only been communicated through Facebook. But after relinquishing my FOMO, I have also realised that those I do hear from are genuine friends and life is about making the most of what you have. 

Putting aside my FOMO issues, I also want to raise another thing I have been guilty of - sensationalising busy. When a friend calls or texts and asks how I have been, I am guilty of saying "so busy, I've been up since 4.30am, I went to the gym, had breakfast with a colleague before work, back to backs all day and now I'm racing to a networking event". Sure that was true and I do have a busy schedule, but what I wasn't realising at the time was that I was saying all of this because I thought busy equalled success. It doesn't!!  You may think by saying you are busy, people will think you are in demand or wanted and then want you too. I don't think it works that way and after a recent experience (read on), it may have the opposite effect! 

My friend wanted to know how I was. Not what I had been doing. I was actually going really great, but I didn't tell her that, instead I gave her a debrief like she was my Chief of Staff.  

A consequence of my sensationalisation came up on the weekend. I was messaging one of my best  friends as I know she is moving house soon. She has a baby under 1 year old and a fly-in-fly-out boyfriend so I asked her if she needed help packing, cleaning and moving. Her response - "I know you're busy ... I'm not going to load you up with my crap". OUCH. For one of my best friends to think she couldn't rely on me for a few hours on a weekend hurt. But I brought it on myself - I sensationalised busy one too many times. I'm the "fixer" among my friends, I'm the one they call when they need to solve a problem, I'm the one who offers solutions. I love that I can help them and I am determined to make sure I remain available to them. So here is my public apology BFF and other friends and here is my commitment to stop sensationalising busy ever again!

I cannot help but think our FOMO and our desire to share with the world what we are doing (and rightly so, our successes), has led to a culture of unnecessary busyness. This isn't healthy and I've written previously on work life balance and why I believe it is so important. I have experienced first hand the repercussions of a burnout, but it's not an experience you need to go through to learn NOT to reach that point. It is ok to have time to yourself, unwind and unplug. There is a difference between laziness and recovery. 

Now that I'm recently single, another consequence of any future sensationalisation of busyness - barrenness (but that's another blog in itself!!). 

So, next time someone asks how you've been - I want you to answer with an emotion. Happy, sad, excited, tired. Anything but busy!!