I have never been in this situation, but after these conversations I want to give you the following to think about. Nb these views don't address any contractual employment obligations you may have to consider.
1. Talk it over with your partner. But don't make a decision based on any negative response you may receive. This is your life and your career!
Overall, your partner should be happy for you - it is great to be recognised as your boss wouldn't choose just anyone to work on an external project, would they!
2. Talk about it with your boss. Ask questions - how long is the project? Is there a chance it could be extended? Will they pay for return flights for the weekend? What expenses will they cover? Can your partner visit?
It's important to have clear expectations from both sides and it also shows initiative on your behalf. You will be investing a lot of your own time if you choose to accept so it's good to know what is expected of you.
3. Consider what impact it will have on your job, and also your career, if you say no. This is the big one and the person likely to know the answer is your boss. Unfortunately, it could be hard to raise this without your boss thinking you are rejecting the offer. The best way to approach the topic is when you are having the above conversation about expectations. I was asked (at a prior position) to have my name put forward for a secondment and in that conversation I asked, "will it affect my career plan and chance for a promotion if I'm not in the office?". My Partner responded saying no, if anything it would increase my chance!
Ultimately, the decision needs to be made by you. But I know your relationship will also have an influence on your decision and it's so easy, especially at the start of a new relationship to want to devote every waking moment to your new beau (personally, this is my favourite part of a relationship!).
There is no right or wrong answer to accepting the opportunity to travel away for a project. Just remember that you should not feel guilted into the decision you ultimately make by your partner. Remember you have obligations to your job as well.
Think long term when making the decision. If you have a mentor, speak to them. It's times like these that you will wish you had one, or even a business coach. It's great to have an impartial view from someone who has experience in dealing with these types of matters. I know of a few coaches including Fiona Craig (who was a lawyer in her previous life). If you need recommendations on coaches, please email me (see side panel for contact details).
Good luck with your opportunity and make the right decision for you!
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