Jealousy or Arrogancy

So, you think that your friend/colleague/partner/family member is jealous of your recent promotion or successes.

But are they really?

It's quite easy when one is thriving to pull away from their usual click of friends. This could be due to new found commitments, pressures or simply because as you have developed as a person you have changed. There is nothing wrong with change (despite what Quinn says on One Tree Hill). 

But there is something wrong when you think every comment or remark from your friend is just them being jealous. 

Maybe it's just you being arrogant. But how do you separate the two?

Think about who is making the comment

In law, intention is the foundation of many offences (think Legally Blonde - mens rea). Havea think - does this person usually make this types of comments? How was the comment made? Was it by text message or email or in person? Have you read it out of context? 

Before you react and tell them to stop acting jealous, think about these things. Knee jerk reactions could only create the situation worse. 

If this person isn't a bitch usually, keep thinking. Maybe they are going through a rough time, maybe they just have PMS. Ask before responding, but also think about why they made the comment.  

What did you say/do before they made the comment

Why was the comment made - were you being insincere, speaking only of yourself? Did you make a humble brag that lacked the humble part? You might have actually caused the comment.

If so, (first of all congrats for admitting it), but get off your high horse and loose the arrogance. Your friend may be jealous, but you have caused it! You don't deserve support and friendship if you are just going to act like that, you will end up pushing people away through your attitude. 

If you were being arrogant, take steps to fix it. Apologise, admit you were a bit too excited and ask your friend how they are. 

If the green eyed monster is there

If you weren't arrogant and your friend is jealous, what comes next is up to you. 

Maybe the jealousy is because your friend feels as though they failed. They should have accomplished what you did first. Don't hold it against them. Work with them, encourage them. 

For me, my pride and reputation is number 1. If this is hurt, then I feel as though I have failed. Help your friend see the positives and that they too can achieve greatness. In the meantime, don't make jokes about them having to live in your spare room or basement or cutting back on the Friday long lunches. Be there for them. No is not the time to be ungrateful and push your friend away. 

Jealousy is a horrible feeling and stems from self-confidence. If your friend is jealous, don't feed the green eyed monster. Help them achieve their goals, help them see their greatness. 

No one wants to have (or be) a jealous friend, but you shouldn't be arrogant one either. 

Work together and build the career girls community. No one should be alone - in success or failure. 

As my Dad says - Don't step on toes on the way up which may be attached to the arse you have to kiss on the way down.